


The Only Hell Ma Guthrie Ever Raised

by likeadeuce



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), New Mutants (Comics)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Lila Cheney/Sam Guthrie (mentioned), Roberto DaCosta (mentioned), surprise character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29246433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeadeuce/pseuds/likeadeuce
Summary: Dani's powers allowed her to pull any person's deepest desires and fears out of their mind so that she could give these secrets corporeal form. But Sam was way better at understanding people's everyday BS. Being the oldest of approximately a million kids was better training for that than any mutant ability.OR. . .Sam Guthrie is responsible and patient and empathetic and sometimes he gets in trouble anyway.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 6





	The Only Hell Ma Guthrie Ever Raised

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilith/gifts).



> For Lilith, who requested New Mutants getting into mundane teenage trouble. This was a marvelous excuse to dig into the classic Claremont run, and I love these kids very much.

Dani would never have said that she enjoyed watching Sam Guthrie squirm. 

Sam was, generally speaking, everything Dani could ask for in a team co-leader. He had good ideas and the patience to follow through on plans. He had strong opinions about the best course of action, but he didn’t insist on having things his way at the expense of the group. If it turned out he’d been right all along (it frequently did), he _almost_ never mentioned that he told you so. At least not too loudly. So there shouldn’t have been any joy in seeing Sam realize that, this once, maybe he had screwed up. But. Well. It was kind of cute.

The facts of the situation were considerably less cute. Headmaster Magneto was attending some mysterious event in the city and the younger teens were restless. Sam had finally gotten his driver’s permit in order, and he had theoretical, if not specific, permission to borrow Magneto’s car. He offered to take some of the others out into the country to visit a hayride and “haunted” corn maze. Good clean fun. Now, most of the team was gathered in the lobby of the Salem Center police station, while Roberto DaCosta was in custody for (underaged) reckless driving.

“The thing is,” Sam said. “Bobby just seemed so confident that he could do it.”

“Bobby --” Dani repeated.

“I know.”

“ -- seemed confident --”

“I. Know.” Sam let out a breath.

"To be fair to Sam," said Doug Ramsey, “He _did_ get hit on the head before he decided to let Berto get behind the wheel." Unlike Dani, Doug seemed to be enjoying Sam's squirming quite a bit. The kid didn't have a mean bone in his body. He wouldn't be teasing if they weren't all sure Sam would be fine. But Doug had been stern-big-brothered by the older boy too often to let this go easily.

"OH NO! SELFRIENDSAMCANNONBALL HAS SUFFERED CRANIAL INJURY." Now Dani had to glare at Doug because obviously not everybody got the memo about Sam being fine, and sarcasm was one of the few languages Doug and Warlock weren't able to share. The young alien pressed his hands to his face, rocking back and forth in distress, as black and gold circuits flickered into view under the facade of his human form. This was not a great look in the police station lobby.

"No," Doug said. "Buddy I didn't mean. . .It’s fine. Samfriend is going to be fine"

Sam leaned forward to show his smiling face to Warlock. "Don’t worry, Lock. I get hit on the head a lot." He tapped knuckles against his own skull to demonstrate. "I just forgot that it’s different when I’m not blasting."

Dani frowned. The worst thing about Sam being in trouble was that she had to be the grownup in the room all by herself. That meant she had to be the one to ask, “How did a flower pot end up falling on your head, anyway? You’re sure it wasn’t the Hellions?”

Everyone got suspiciously quiet, long enough for Dani to realize who in the group had been quiet all along. She didn’t even have to say Rahne’s name, just look her way and. . .

“Ach,” Rahne moaned. “I thought it were one of Illyana’s beasties turned loose. They got hard heads. We didn’t know where Yana had got to, so Berto and I set a trap for the nasty spalpeen and --” She started to cry. “Sam walked into it instead!”

“It was an easy mistake to make,” Sam comforted her. “It was just a very large possum, and --”

“THEY DON’T HAVE THEM IN SCOTLAND!” Rahne wailed.

Rahne’s display of emotion sent Warlock into another crying fit. Doug had to comfort him, while Dani hugged Rahne. Then Dani frowned up at Sam. “Where _is_ Yana, anyway?”

Sam scratched the back of his neck. “I been wondering about that myself.” He let out a heavy sigh. “And Bobby -- heck, I don’t even know if he’s legally in America. With the Professor away, does he have a guardian here? Why didn’t I think of these things before? I always think of things except when it matters. . .”

“I wish the Professor were here,” Rahne sobbed. “It’s not always -- it might not be right but he could just make everybody forget about what happened and -- Dani, do you think you could. . .?”

Dani shook her head. Her powers didn’t exactly work that way. “We do know someone else who could --” 

Doug coughed and everyone looked at him. “Yeah, speaking of that. I think I know where Illyana --”

Before Doug could finish, three figures blinked into view in front of them: a smug-looking Illyana Rasputin, Headmaster Magneto dashingly dressed in white and --

“You know what they say about desperate times,” said Illyana. 

“Excuse me, excuse me,” said the front desk officer. “You can’t just walk in here --”

“Oh, but we can and we shall.” Emma Frost flashed her deadliest smile. “Now. . .Mr. Xavier and I will be retrieving young Mr. DaCosta. Absolutely nothing of note has occurred here. We’ll be taking the poor lost boy home.” Emma looked around at the group.“Consider yourself fortunate that I’ve grown to like your students, _Michael_.”

Sam stepped forward. “Ms. Frost, Headmaster, uh. . .Xavier. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

“There will be time,” Magneto assured them. “For the apportionment of blame.”

“I’m sorry,” Rahne blubbered. “They don’t have possums in Scotland!” 

“My dear,” Emma said. “Please understand that I do not care. Once we have this sorted, Ms. Rasputin can transport me back to the excellent party and your headmaster can drive you back to school. I am sure that he is eager to hear about all of your troubles.”

“You know what,” said Sam. “Maybe I’ll just walk.”

*

Dani insisted on walking back with Sam. He still might have a head injury and he shouldn’t be traveling the dark road by himself, no matter how many hours he’d logged hiking the hollers with the Cumberland Boy Scouts.

“I could summon Brightwind, you know,” Dani said, once they’d gotten away from the lights of town. 

“What is it with girls and horses?” Sam teased. “My sisters are nuts for them too.”

“Magical winged horses from otherworldly realms? I know, they’re a dime a dozen. So predictable. What is it with boys and cars that don’t actually belong to them?” 

Sam winced. “Yeah, I kept waiting for Magneto to put that part together.”

“He was too freaked out by Rahne and Warlock having all those feelings in public.” 

Sam looked back over his shoulder, as though he could have seen the station from here. “Maybe we should have stayed with them.”

Dani shook her head. “Nah. Magneto has to learn some time. 

Then Sam stopped and crossed his arms, giving Dani a hard look. “I know you didn’t just come for a walk with me because you like the night air. When are you gonna yell at me about how I screwed up?”

“Do I usually yell?”

“At times. ”

“Fair point. But you know what you messed up. You don’t need me to tell you.”

“I shouldn’t have let Bobby behind the wheel. He’s fourteen and he’s -- Bobby. It’s just sometimes easier to listen to people who sound like they know what they’re doing. But Roberto always seems confident. It’s our job, as the senior members of the New Mutants, to sort out what he’s telling us from what he is actually trained and equipped to do.” He tilted his head at Dani. “We have definitely had this conversation before.” 

They had, but most of the insights were Sam’s in the first place; Dani, frankly, would not have gotten to them so quickly herself. Her powers allowed her to pull any person's deepest desires and fears out of their mind so that she could give these secrets corporeal form. But Sam, well -- Sam was way better at understanding people's everyday bullshit. Being the oldest of approximately a million kids was better training for that than any mutant ability.

“And you’re learning. Meanwhile I want to bring the subject back to you and your car thieving ways.”

“You know me. The only hell Ma Guthrie ever raised.”

“I have met your mother,” Dani assured him. “That strikes me as very unlikely.” 

“Fair point. Maybe I should call her and tell her what happened. She's always worrying about me. Ordinary teenage hijinks might be good for a laugh, this once.”

“Ordinary. If you leave out the teleportation and the incidental mind-wiping."

“If this is the worst trouble I ever get us into, I guess we’ll be lucky.”

“Hey,” Dani said. “With this crew trouble is inevitable. There’s nobody I’d rather get out of it with than you.” 

She squeezed his hand and then a light flashed in their eyes, and Illyana stood in front of them. “Awww,” she said. “Touching poignant moment. No one cares. Meanwhile, I’ve been to Limbo and back _twice_ in the time it took you losers to walk up half a road.” Illyana snapped her fingers. “Come on, come on.” 

“Ready to go home?” Dani asked Sam.

“Who said anything about home?” Illyana reached a hand out to each of them. “Sam, your girlfriend’s got a gig in Paris either -- two hours ago or two hours from now. Either way, we’ll get there and back precisely on time for Magneto and the others to have had a good talk about feelings.”

“I don’t know. . .” Sam said cautiously

Dani grinned. "Yes, you do." There was nothing precise about Illyana's teleportation, and there never had been, but right now, who cared?

“Fair enough. Just -- if my Ma asks,” Sam winked. “Tell her I was extremely mature and responsible.”

**Author's Note:**

> During this period Magneto was, in fact, introducing himself as Professor Xavier's older cousin Michael, and also hanging out with Emma Frost at the Hellfire Club.


End file.
